What Are We Missing?
Several years ago, a dear friend posted on her Facebook page that she was leaving the church.
I was shaken, bewildered, confused....devastated, even.
How could a woman who had dedicated her life to the same faith I had suddenly just walk away from everything she once believed in? Had Satan gotten to her? Did she get into anti-Mormon literature? Was she just not as strong as I thought she was?
For weeks, I wrestled with my friend's decision. I lost many nights of sleep over it.
And then it happened again.
And again.
And again.
One after one of my precious friends and family members began walking away from lifelong membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. People I loved, respected, and knew to be intelligent, Christlike examples were suddenly choosing a life I had always been taught would result in a terrible, lonesome road of pain and regret.
For years I had heard of people leaving the church, but never anyone close to me. Surely these distant acquaintances were just being lazy, or didn't want to feel badly about drinking coffee or alcohol. Perhaps they were just running away from the responsibility of callings in the church or wanted an excuse to wear immodest clothing. It would never happen to someone who was a TRUE disciple of Christ.
Until it did.
And I was forced to ask myself (and my husband) the difficult question I never wanted to have to ask:
"What are we missing?"
The answers came in trickles, drops of opinions and doubts that built up into a large puddle over time, right smack dab in the middle of my faith. For a while, the puddle was easy to ignore. Eventually though, stepping over that puddle became impossible, and there was no room to walk around it. If I didn't address it quickly, pretty soon I was going to be drowning in it.
And so...we address it. One blog post at a time.
Join me on this journey as we discuss hard things, things we can no longer reconcile, things we choose to look past for now, and why we choose to stay (or go).
I've often chewed on this phenomenon of why it makes people in the church so hurt/defensive/upset when people leave the church. Our reaction creates this divide which is the opposite of what we're aiming for (complete unity) when we create this ALL or NOTHING mentality. This idea of "well, they are gone, hope they come back" thought process, when, in reality, a "let me walk with you on your journey and open my heart to your heart and doubt with your doubt and mourn with your mourning and hold your hand as you cry" is what Christ would have us do. Many times I have thought in meetings.."it's not about getting people to come to church or 'activity' or whatever", it's about inviting people to CHRIST. And if they find Christ better outside the church, then, wonderful, I want to walk that journey with you and see His miracles in your life. Everyone's path is different and Christ can walk in ALL of them. Anyway, I'm very passionate about this topic too, so I apologize if I dominate your comment feed along the way;-). Just know I stand in solidarity and love! PREACH!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely LOVE this viewpoint. It used to be so hard for me when people would leave, but when I sat back and really considered why, and saw these friends of mine change for the better, it changed me too. Christ is in soooooo many different places. He's not just at church.
DeleteTotally agree...and I should add that if we consider that Christ is Charity/Love/Universal goodwill, there is a case for all sects, creeds, denominations, religions providing that, not just Christianity. Have you heard of Thomas McConkie? I've really, reaaaally been appreciating and enjoying his perspective lately. He has a podcast and some books. Grew up LDS, left and found Buddhism and adult development theory for decades, and found a place for himself back in his faith of origin, bringing with him mindfulness and growth theory. His perspective is enlightening and so, so soul enriching. His openness of heart is a goal for me right now.
DeleteI haven't! I'll look him up. I used to see it as an "us vs. them" dynamic and I'm just not like that anymore. I think we all just choose different words to describe what we feel. To one religion, those urges we feel to be kind to others would be described as being Christlike, whereas someone else might just describe it as being a kind person. They're the same, just worded differently.
DeleteI'm currently binging the "At Last She Said It" podcast on Spotify. It's one thing to have like-minded people to talk to and feel validated in your concerns about religion, but to listen to like-minded people and walk away feeling refreshed and uplifted is glorious! That's how I feel about these ladies. If you haven't listened, start! They're amazing.
When people begin struggling with their faith it means that they are thinking through things and seeking truth. What a great place to be! It is so much better than just living what you've been told to do. Seeking God for yourself is an essential journey for each of us and we need to love one another through that! It is so important that we are open to talking about all of the issues that might come up. If we don't know the answers they can send us on a journey of our own to understand for ourselves. I'm proud of you for opening up the doors of discussion here.
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